A Lizard of Unusual Size

I've come to the conclusion that the guys that actually wanna listen to what I have to say are not the guys that are my age. :/ All my best guy friends are at least a few years older than me. Which is fine, but I'm annoyed because when I get back to school I'll have to go back to dealing with boys that have NO attention span, that don't even care about what I'm saying. Ugh. No wonder I haven't got a boyfriend.

Well, Junior year starts tomorrow, and I can't say I'm all that excited anymore. After going to open house, I didn't see anyone new that I was interested in, and that's depressing. Just the same old faces from last years honors classes, some annoying and some friends. It's great that I have friends in every class, but I'd wanted to make some more, you know? At least I'll probably be able to do that in computer programming once I switch into that. That's the only thing I'm excited aboot. :)

And in other news, I bought a plant for my desk. And I've been trying to plan a compost heap in my backyard.

Well, I've been doing well for myself this summer, I think! I love my job very much, and it's pretty much the only reason I leave the house (lucky for me, I've been getting more hours :D). Still playing Left 4 Dead insanely much, but today I got ~THE 'WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?' ACHIEVEMENT~ for beating all campaigns on expert. I feel so immensely badass, and it was only 35G. Whatever. Four more achievements to go, then I will be done with that game forever. Matthew's gonna be so pissed that I did it without him, it will be glorious.

But anyway, back to stuff. Today I got 'borrowed' to a store in Scottsdale, which was a good 20 minutes from my house, but that was ok I guess. Scottsdale is a really snooty town, and the mall this EB Games was in was EFFING HUGE and I got lost, but I had a fantastic time. It was supposed to be me and a kid named Chris on shift, but Frank stayed after his shift because we were having so much fun. I think we had 3 customers, and I probably did a half hour's worth of work. In five hours. It was soooo much different than my normal store - we're workaholics there.

It was so laid back though! And my god, my stomach hurt from laughing once I got home. We chatted about video games and Family Guy mostly, but man those guys were funny. We're planning to have a party where we just play MGS4 all night, which I am IMMENSELY excited about, since I've been dying to play that game forever. My mom is hesitant to let me chill with some random dudes, but they seem really harmless. In fact, I felt a little ostracized for my age. Chris is 19 and Frank is 21, so they were like "oh shit you're a little kid!" and were acting like they couldn't hang out with me because I was 16. idc, yo.

What else is going on? Not much. I bought CoD4:MW a few days ago, but I think I'll play it after I'm finished being obsessed with L4D achievements. I also need to read my summer reading books but Jane Eyre is all bleh and I am preoccupied with gaming.

EARLY HAPPY V-DAY~

( To Mugie )

( To Zacky )

( To Wata )

Feeling utterly motivationless. I think there's something wrong with me. I just can't find a reason to give a shit anymore... peh. :|

Anyway, I saw a baby bird on the sidewalk on Wednesday, and it was trying to hop/fly away from me as I walked. I thought it was cute, then I walked it back to its tree in hopes its mother would find it.

While I was walking away, I worried about the birdie and actually felt like praying to make sure it would be okay. It was kind of weird, I haven't had the urge to pray for anything in a year, at least. It was just strange; it also added to the "there's something wrong" idea. I should care enough to pray about more things than a little birdie, right? I haven't prayed even when I've gotten in the worst fights with friends or family.

I feel like all the emotion is just funneled out of me. I want to do something, but most of me just wants to sit around and do nothing, but then I feel anxious and need to do something, but then I don't want to do anything, and it just goes on. :/